The Want-O-Meter

I have this thing I like to call a "wanter." When I was little, I wanted a contraption called a "Skip It." My friend down the street had one, and I told my parents that I wouldn't want anything else if they got it for me for my birthday. Never ever.
So they got me the Skip It and to this day I have never wanted another thing.

If only that were the case.

I've wanted super soakers and art supplies and tapes and cds and G.I. Jane's and Play Doh and Polly Pockets and clothes...

Today I could probably come up with a list of dozens of things that I desire. Lately it seems like my "wanter" is getting a little out of control. I want more money so that I can add more things to my already existing pile of things.
There will never be too many things produced for our "wanters."

Our culture seems to be obsessed with this never ending cycle of spending money on the newest gadget. Sometimes even more money than we have (!). I think that the way we handle our finances can be one of the biggest spiritual transformations.

After David makes plan for the Temple, he erupts into a beautiful prayer:

But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.

Should we tithe net or gross? What is the least amount of money that we can give without making God angry? David doesn't even think about these questions. David understood that financial blessing was a chance to in turn be a blessing. "Who am I that I can be generous? I want to build your kingdom, not my kingdom."

I am convinced that God has financially blessed me so that I can bless others. Why was I born in such an affluent country? Family?
Even though I feel very strongly about this, however, my want meter sometimes fights for control. It's so easy to say that I want to honor God by giving generously but then become infatuated with getting the next new thing.

Abba, purge me of my consumerism and help me to view money through Your eyes... Your Kingdom come and Your will be done through my financial decisions.

Art Journal - Telephone

And text messages don't count.

Too Much of a Good Thing?

In one of the three books I've read within the last three days, a girl named Tibby finds herself working at a movie theater and contemplates the following:

She didn't used to fall asleep in movies. But working in a theater could do that to you. Once she'd taken the tickets for the four 0'clock show and made sure everyone was in their seats and vacuumed the lobby, she was allowed to watch. That was the whole reason she'd asked for Margaret's help to get her this job.
But now she'd seen The Actress fourteen times. The first three or four were pretty good. But slowly after that, the suspense drained out of the suspense. The spontaneity of the love affair shriveled to nothing. By the fourteenth time... well, she feel asleep.

As a lifelong movie lover, it was sad, in a way, for her to watch the magic of the illusion dry up like a piece of macaroni left overnight in her little sister's booster seat. It made Tibby feel dull and flat. And watching the excitement on the faces of the audience just made her feel worse. She knew that every audience member was taken in by the big sweeping climax, with the cellos and violins and gigantic close-ups of earnest, rapturous faces. They felt it was all happening magically and powerfully for them alone.
Tibby had gotten accepted to the film program at NYU. She was about to spend four years learning how to make films. She's thought it was what she wanted more than anything. But now Tibby was beginning to wonder.

She imagined, depressingly, what it must feel like to be a wedding officiator or a doctor who delivered babies. You'd watch these people in the middle of their personal wonders, imagining for themselves a pure, unique once-in-a-lifetime experience. And then an hour or two later you'd watch somebody else do the same thing. What they thought were miracles were your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
It was sad that what you once thought were marvels on the screen were really manipulations. What you thought was art was just some gimmicky formula.

What happens when the thing you devoted your life to begins sucking the life out of you?

Art Journal - Roller Coaster

We Are Weird

I have forgotten how weird Jesus' death and resurrection really is.

On Saturday I volunteered to help out with the annual Easter egg hunt that my church hosts for the Powell community. Before the kids were let loose to devour the thousands of eggs scattered on the church property they listened as a children's pastor presented the Easter story to them.

Maybe it was because of how simple the pastor told the story. She told the very basics so that the kids could understand things like "sin" and "crucifixion." Whatever the reason was, I suddenly felt like I was hearing this story from a non-believer's perspective. I was suddenly in the parent's heads. Man, do we Christians believe some really weird things:
God had a Son whom he sent on a suicide mission to save humans from all their evil deeds. After Jesus died and rotted in his grave for 3 days his body disappeared. Some said that his disciples stole his body, but they claimed that he came back to life and appeared to them. Jesus then returned to his mothership.

Weird.

This story is ridiculous. It sounds like a crazy fairytale that is even weirder than the Easter bunny. How can we believe such an incredulous tale?

And yet I find myself having to believe this. For reasons I cannot explain, I am compelled to believe that there is a God loves people so much that he is willing to do whatever it takes to be with them. No scientific fact or even Christian apologetic can ultimately prove or find reason in this story.
This story is ridiculous, but it is also powerful. It is crazy, but foolish things shame the wise. It is weird, but full of beauty.

I can give no other explanation as to why I still believe this story other than the fact that He lives in me.

"This is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us."
- I John 3:24