Lately, however, I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I sense that many characteristics about myself have changed. I still think of myself and describe myself in terms of who I used to be, but I can't help but to wonder if that person is still me.
I remember taking the Myers-Brigg test in junior high and coming up with the rare personality combination of INFP (often called the "healer"). I thought that this suited me quite well. Four years later I retook the test and came out with a different combination: INTJ (the "mastermind"). I remember being a bit devastated that my personality had changed. Were the first results the "real me," or were these new results the "real me?"
Looking back, I can see how much life's circumstances had in many ways helped alter my personality. I can't help but to wonder if something similar is happening in me now.
Who is the real me? How can I know? Which scares me more: the fact that my personality has changed again or that it can (and probably will) change again in the future?
And then I can't help but to wonder who "I" am a priori. I frequently think of myself in terms of my personality. But if that can change, what is the true essence of myself? Is there a part of me that is unchanging? What is the part that makes me, well, me?
Do I miss who I used to be?
So many thoughts running through my head, and they all seem to come when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep. No matter how long I analyze and brew over the issue, I don't feel like I'm any closer to understanding the "new me."
