"Unorthodox"

Have you ever feel like you are going crazy? Like you're the only one who really gets it, and everyone else thinks they do... but don't?

Last week I was driving some new friends back from Columbus when eschatological subjects popped up on the radar. I, for once, did not initiate them. The conversation began escalating, and I hadn't said a word. Finally, after saying a quick prayer, I offered my understanding of what the kingdom looked like - not just as a spiritual reality, but in its ever-increasing earthly/physical embodiment.

Silence.

They all thought I was crazy. It was against everything they had ever been taught, ever thought of. They had never heard anything like this in Sunday school or church. In a single moment I had become a radical, unorthodox liberal. I was one of "those" theologians.

And yet, the only replies they could muster up was that they did not "like it." I could see how uncomfortable they were with it.

I could write thousands of entries about this. I already have spent a countless number of hours developing these thoughts into writings. Maybe more of those thoughts will appear later on this blog, but right now something else is dominating my schema...

Why do so few people understand? Sometimes I feel so alone.

You Are Loved, Too

Why is this guy still talking to me...?

I admit that I strongly dislike mingling and small talk with people I do not know too well. I'm an obvious introvert and don't care much for awkward conversations with people I will never see again. My new husband is the exact opposite. He thrives on conversations with new people and can't pass up an opportunity to have an in-depth conversation with the cashiers at WalMart. He's the life of the party; I'm the person who quietly talks to some close friends, away from the center of focus.

Imagine my discomfort, then, when an associate from a jewelry store inside Polaris insisted on talking to me as I was passing by. All I wanted was to pick up a new "I am Loved" button in a new language to add to my collection(http://www.iamloved.org/), but the salesman spotted me and approached me before I could hurry on my way.
I hope he's not going to try to convince me to buy a diamond ring, I could help but to think. The man instead asked me a whole bunch of questions about my personal life. Why did I collect these buttons? Did I know any foreign languages? Greek and Hebrew? Why those ones? Where was I going to college? What was I studying?
There was a slight pause in the conversation when I told him that I was pursuing a degree in Biblical studies. A flicker on interest seemed to shimmer in his eyes.
"What do you want to do with that?"
A little agitated with his endless supply of questions, I politley answered and made up an excuse about time. That's always a good, American excuse.

As I was walking away, it suddenly hit me that I had the opportunity to share what I believed with that jeweler. I didn't even have to set up the road to Calvary myself: All I had to do was ask him if he had ever read the Bible. I was rather shocked that the idea of telling him about what Jesus was doing in my life never had even occurred to me. I told him that I wanted to teach others about the Bible, but I didn't even take the time to teach him about the Bible.

I've been learning this summer to view every single circumstance with spiritual lenses on. The present world is not solely physical. Everything that is physical also has a spiritual entanglement. Perhaps things should not even be defined as "physical" or "spiritual." We as Christians need to see the spiritual in every encounter, every conversation, every action. The battle may have already been won, but we have seemed to forgotten that the battle for God's kingdom is still through our efforts joined with our King's.
There is a world filled with a countless number of souls who are headed for hell. Countries try to destroy the message of Jesus Christ because, as Richard Dawkins attests, religion is the weakness and threat to society. YouTube has a "Blasphemy Challenge" where thousands of people deny Christ on video for the rest of the world to see. Somehow, though, we shrug this off and conclude that evangelism is for hyper-Christians like Billy Graham and missionaries like Hudson Taylor.

Matthew 28:19-20, frequently referred to as the "Great Commission" passage, commands Christ followers to make disciples (notice it does not say "believers"-- but that is another topic for another time). The interesting thing about this command is that in the original Greek language is says that Christians should make disciples "as they go." There is no destination.

Some Christians may be called to a career in an organized ministry, but all Christians are called to full-time ministry.

Witnessing is not an option. It is not a "spiritual gift." It is not a task set aside for a select group. It is not something that we should wait until "God calls" us to do it. So many times I hear Christians claim that they didn't sense that "God was telling" them to talk to someone about Jesus, so they didn't do it. Claiming this is like saying that they didn't sense God telling them to love someone. Just as God has already told us to love others in Scripture, so also has He already told us to tell others about him in Scripture.

I have been trying to apply this command to witness to others "as I go" throughout my daily life. I now see why Aaron is so eager to talk to the waiter at Southside Diner, the greeter at WalMart, and our next door neighbors. Ever if he is not talking to them about Jesus directly, he is still sending the message that they are valued and worth talking to. I now try to strike up conversation, even though I am still a little uncomfortable with it. And, everytime I walk by that jewelry store, I look for that jeweler who challenged me. I intend to finish our conversation where we last left off and communicate to him the message on the buttons that I had previously ignored. I think I'll even approach him first myself.

Burn

People are fascinated with fire. Last fall I ventured away from homework one night to attend a bonfire on the campus of my school. Perhaps I simply do not attend enough campus activities, but I was amazed at how many people came to this event. The school events I have participated in have attracted a good number of students, but I had never seen so many students gathered together as I did at this bonfire. As I sat on the cool grass, breathing in the cool, night air and enjoying the company of friends, something in particular struck me about fires.

Do you know why people are so drawn to fires? Not because they create light, nor because they radiate heat. The number one reason why people are attracted to fire is because they simply like to watch things burn. It was not long into the evening before students began throwing anything expendable into the large bonfire. People would gather around to watch the flames devour a marshmallow. Exclamations pierced the night air just because the searing heat quickly contracted a Styrofoam cup into a little ball. Something about burning things fascinates people.

John Wesley said that if you set yourself on fire, all of England will come to see you burn. Just as there is a fascination with fire burning wood, there is a fascination with people who allow themselves to become consumed by the fire of Christ. When you set yourself aflame, people will be curious. They will be drawn to the heat you are radiating and drawn to the light you are emitting, but more than that they will be drawn to the reason why you are burning.

Many people today claim that Jesus was merely a good teacher or a religious figure whose behavior should be modeled. Jesus portrayed some “guidelines” that “spiritual” people should follow. In the end, He may have exemplified an ethical life, but He was nothing more than human. Jesus Himself, however, claimed differently. His own followers thought that their Rabbi was a good, spiritual sage, but they did not have the slightest idea what His role as the Messiah fully implied.
In Luke 9:18-27, Jesus finally revealed His identity as the Christ and its implications. In fact, Jesus focused more on the implications of it in regard to His disciples than He did for Himself.

“If anyone would come after me,” Jesus said, “he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Lk 9:23).

You would think that Jesus would be more interested in explaining the theological significance of His death, the biblical significance of His “Davidic” role, but He instead brushed all that aside. His death and resurrection would enlighten the disciples later. What was important to Jesus now was that His followers understood what their responsibility was in response to His Messianic identity. Ask any Christian today about the significance of Jesus’ identity and they can easily give an accurate answer. But can they explain the significance that has for them outside of their “getting into heaven?”

Ask many non-Christians and they, too, can mirror the responses of a Christian. One of my friends who is very passionate about evangelism once described her surprise about this. “Every unbeliever I have witnessed to knows exactly who Jesus is,” she said. “Somehow we get the idea that Christians are the only ones who know about Jesus’ identity and that once everyone knows that Jesus is God they will fall on their knees and convert.” It seems that just about everyone today, Christians and non-Christians alike, knows who Jesus is. The problem is that those who really do believe that He is the Messiah do not know what that means for them now.

This places believers and non-believers in the same position. One group knows, refuses to believe, and continues to live without interruption, while the other group knows, chooses to believe, and still lives without interruption. Something is wrong. Perhaps our presently construed definition of “atheism” needs modified.Christ has called His followers to live differently by picking up their crosses on a daily basis. Not just on days when they feel like it. Not just when God seems evidently present in their lives. Not just when they are with other Christians who are observing them to make themselves feel better about their own inconsistencies.

Following Christ requires a higher standard. Christians are called to forfeit their lives, to offer themselves on the altar and burn. It is easier for living sacrifices to crawl back down off of the altar when the burning becomes too intense (Rom 12:1). By daily denying and dying to themselves, followers of Christ testify that Jesus really was and still is the Messiah. Christ has not so much saved them from something as He has saved them to something. It all comes down to whether Christians will choose to act on their belief in the true identity of their Messiah and continue to light the night sky as they offer their very lives as living sacrifices.

Erected Walls

"Listen, O Lord, to my prayers. Listen to my desire to be with you, to dwell in your house, and to let my whole being be filled with your presence. But none of this is possible without you. When you are not the one who fills me, I am soon filled with endless thoughts and concerns that divide me and tear me away from you. Even thoughts about you, good spiritual thoughts, can be little more than distractions when you are not their author.

O Lord, thinking about you, being fascinated with theological ideas and discussions, being excited about histories of Christian spirituality and stimulated by thoughts and ideas about prayer and meditation, all of this can be as much an expression of greed as the unruly desire for food, possessions, or power.

Every day I see again that only you can teach me to pray, only you can set my heart at rest, only you can let me dwell in your presence. No book, no idea, no concept or theory will ever bring me close to you unless you yourself are the one who lets these instruments become the way to you.

But Lord, let me at least remain open to your initiative; let me wait patiently and attentively for that hour when you will come and break through all the walls I have erected. Teach me, O Lord, to pray. Amen."

- Henry J. M. Nouwen

Stuck on a Treadmill

4 February

I ran on a treadmill earlier today, but I still feel like I’m on one: Running, but not going anywhere. Tomorrow begins four months of routine. I will be learning about theology, the Bible, God, and religion. I will be teaching students about theology, the Bible, God, and religion. It seems that my whole life has become devoted to the study of theology, the Bible, God, and religion.

Treadmills are so funny to me. The reading device tells you that you have run two miles, when in reality you haven’t even left the workout room. It tells you that you have gone somewhere, when you yourself know that you haven’t budged.

I get good grades, my teachers praise me for my intellect and writings, my boss compliments me on my teaching skills. It would seem as if I were getting somewhere. All of these appear to be indicators that I am maturing, growing smarter and wiser. Despite all of these indicators, glaring at me in red, digital type, I know I’m not moving.

Maybe it’s a good thing I’m not getting anywhere. I’m not quite sure where I should be going.